Whew!

What I've done since September 8........

Helped my daughter celebrate her 25th birthday, with a trip to the jewelry store to pick out charms to replace those she lost along with a bracelet her friends gave her when she finished chemotherapy nine years ago. That makes for a great celebration, along with (Ricky) making her a traditional Balthrop birthday cake - a yellow cake with cooked fudge icing. We sent her home with the cake intact, much to Wiley's complaint.

Garrett, Wiley & Lindsay (Garrett helped give the original charm bracelet.)

Open house at the high school - checking on Wiley's teachers, grades and behavior. His history teacher returned to me the toy airplane confiscated earlier in the day. Sigh. Boys.

Met my 6th grade boyfriend, my first kiss, for coffee during his two hour layover at DFW airport. We only knew each other for that one school year. I found out he really liked me when he gave me a fancy Valentine's Day card signed "Love, Robert." We corresponded - with snail mail - through college. He spent the night in our Chicago apartment one time when he was passing through. (On a cross country motorcycle trip, he stopped in the south side of Chicago to call us and ask for directions. It's a wonder he's still alive.) Bottom line - hadn't seen him in about thirty years. That was fun. I am old.

Attended two high school football games - we won both games and the band did great.

Kept up with America's Got Talent. I only missed voting on one episode. I'll defer further discussion until I've been to the AGT Live Show on October 13. I can't wait - singers, dancers, magicians, illusionists, daredevils and acrobats, oh, my!

Watched Wiley play soccer.

Started our symphony season ticket series. We used to do that, pre-kids. It's been a while.

Finished my September 15th work. September 15 is a big deadline - the final deadline for corporate, partnership and trust returns. I'm averaging 70 hours a week September through October 15, the final deadline for individual tax returns.

Had my first official colon follow up. Not much to it - I just needed advice on how to deal with the rumbling and grumbling. We're trying some different things, but the bottom line is that recovery takes TIME.

GOT A HAIRCUT!

Closed on our house refinance, dropping from 5.375% to 3.75%. That will help us be done with the whole thing in just a few more years.

Worked around the clock the last six days finishing up (an hour ago) the tax returns for an individual client who is running for Governor. So sometime in the next couple of days his tax returns are going on a public website.....with my name on them. Talk about pressure! He is someone I really admire, but unfortunately can't vote for, as he does not live here in God's country.

About God's country - went to the high school homecoming parade.

Met as part of a newly organized financial management team that is going to work with high net worth clients. It required some preparation, but all in all went well. I wondered what I could possibly add, but when you live long enough, you just end up knowing stuff that other people don't know. And I've also learned that if you speak clearly, others assume you know what you are talking about! I am used to high profile work, but it's usually done anonymously from the comfort of my home office. I actually had to bring the suit out of the closet this time.

Went to my daughter's in-laws' anniversary dinner across town.

Had a CT scan with contrast dye to make sure there are no cooties. And I thought I'd already had every test run. I knew I was in trouble when, at scheduling, they started asking me if I liked apples or bananas or berries. Try none of the above. They found a mocha flavored barium cocktail that I drank the night before, then again the morning of the scan. $650 later, I'm waiting on the test results.

The worst part, besides lack of sleep, is being on a reading kick with Ricky. We're reading through the same series of futuristic murder mysteries - crime solving by a sexy, rich and talented married couple. He's one book ahead. So lots of justification going on between us. The house is a wreck, meals are spotty, work is on the edge - but we're living it up vicariously.

And no, this is not me and Ricky.

10 Two-letter Words

Feeling sorry for yourself? Wanting some of the handouts others seem to get?

If It Is To Be,

It Is Up To Me.

- Paul LePage, Candidate for Governor of Maine.

For a little personal motivation, check out the short video of his life story on his campaign website.

I think I'll put the pedal down and get my September 15th work done without complaint.

Converted

Brian stopped by today to pick up a few things and get a haircut - going from the "hawk" look to a number two buzz. As I cut his hair on the back porch, the dogs chased each other. Brian is still amazed that we have not just one, but two family dogs.

I snootily preferred cats over dogs for decades. I was woefully misinformed.

Our cats lounge around, tear stuff up when no one's looking and take over entire rooms. They only come around us when they want something or it's the middle of the night and they need to check in.

Our dogs play. They prefer to play with one of us. Next best is playing with each other knowing we are watching. Right now they are having a blast playing in the rainy back yard while Ricky is home base on the patio. They want to be with us or asleep. And they sleep in their beds.

Teenagers vs. toddlers.

Enough said.

Easy come, easy go

Lately, more people have been asking how I'm doing.

It has been three months since my colon surgery. It is fair to say I have made a complete recovery.

That doesn't mean there aren't one or two lingering "issues," some of which may linger for the foreseeable future, perhaps the rest of my life.

According to my surgeon, cut upon colons stay a little cranky, and mine certainly is no exception. The silver lining is that I can permanently retire the bathroom plunger.

I can live with that.

(And if you haven't scheduled your colonoscopy yet, what are you waiting for, my friends?)

Working for a living

I am a CPA, but as the cobbler's family has no shoes, I neglect our family's financial planning. That is starting to change, start being the operative word.

We have recently changed our primary bank, gaining some flexibility and better interest rates on car loans, but Ricky has had to do it dragging me along. The new structure involves personal checking and savings accounts, business checking and savings accounts, debit cards and new credit cards with different "reward" programs. It is more than my tiny mind can manage.

For twenty-five years we have run our family with one checking account. We don't have to consult the other before using it, either. And it has worked. All we've done over the years is raise the unspoken limit of how much one of us could spend without consulting the other. It started with $10, living as students, but of course has increased over the years. Long ago we reached the point at which one of us could buy a car without "checking in" first. That's kinda' where we've left it......at least I think so.

We both hate "budgets." Instead, we have developed our own system. I usually make the deposits and keep the operating funds divided between checking and savings. Ricky pays all the bills. Our tasks are so divided, I have never used a debit card.

I assume he will spend everything we have and so I keep as much as possible tucked away. He pretends not to know whether we have enough and spends what he thinks he can justify (knowing that I input all our expenses into Quicken after the fact.) He only knows how much we "have" by checking the balance when he makes a cash withdrawal.

Our system has worked, probably because we're both competitive. Neither of us wants to disappoint the other. With new banking procedures, though, and some other changes Ricky has made in monitoring our long term savings and retirement accounts, we each need to be more involved with both the ins and outs of our finances.

I guess that means we get to be on the same team. I'm rather looking forward to it.

Tomorrow we - Ricky, Kelly, Brian, Wiley (when he can) and I - are starting Dave Ramsey's course on Financial Peace. Lindsay and Eddie are doing the class at a different location. I hope each of us will get some benefit.

I usually dislike structure, i.e. having a plan. But I have never turned down a shoe shopping trip, and that's all this is, right?

Can you see me now?

Need a hint?

Call of Duty

Tomorrow is the first day of a new school year. Wiley the student has been in six-days-a-week, nine-hours-a-day marching band camp for the past three weeks. Ricky the teacher started back a week ago. Monday, an easy class day, will actually be a respite for both of them.

I usually dread the starting of school because of the exponential increase in laundry. Wiley shifts from wearing his pajamas all day, every day, to real clothes, while Ricky switches from shorts and a t-shirt to long pants and long sleeved shirts in addition to his shorts and t-shirt when he gets home.

But this year is an exception. With summer band, club soccer and rock work around the house, my boys have been sweating through two to three sets of clothes a day. Monday begins a respite for the washer and dryer, too.

Wiley also had to finish his summer reading and class assignments over the past few weeks. He has always done well in school, but high school steps it up a notch and I have been concerned how he would fit band, soccer, homework and sleep around his busy X-box schedule.

My prior efforts to minimize gaming time have been futile with both Wiley and his older brother. I have tried setting timers, keeping logs, or arranging rewards to get the boys to self-limit.

When that inevitably failed, I have unplugged or disconnected the TV or limited time spent in the den. But I have not had the stamina to follow through and enforce any of these schemes. Once my head is down working, the TV is on and a kid is in front of it. If I don't nag or yell, my silence (or grumble) is taken as implicit permission.

But with Wiley's understanding and agreement, I may have found the ultimate solution. At least it has worked for the past two weeks.

Brown paper and packing tape, that's the trick.

My goal is for us, Ricky and me included, to consciously choose when we watch shows or play games, rather than making the TV a companion to everything we do.

I have tried limiting the accessibility of the kitchen television as well, since that's where the most mindless TV watching occurs. I have been putting a pillowcase over the screen and hiding the remote control, but so inconsistently it hasn't mattered.

This parenting stuff wears me down. But that is what moms are called to - responsibility. And when we can't say "no" one more time, God answers prayer. The kitchen television died a natural death last night.

Now if He would help me out a little with the internet connections on our Ipods, computers and cell phones, my duty would be done.

What would you do?

We have a guest bathroom just off the living room, next to my office. I've been spending a little more time in there since my colon surgery. The other day I happened to look up and notice the Christmas ornaments hanging from the light fixture!

I've always hung ornaments from light fixtures, starting with the Victorian chandeliers in the house we had when the kids were little. The tradition carried over to this house and evidently carried over to our kid(s.) I know I didn't hang these. I'm usually pretty good at taking down the decorations that I put up.

But you know, they do match the wallpaper. And it's only three more months until I get the rest of the Christmas decorations out, so might as well just leave them up......this time. Christmas in August, anyone?

Reaching for Hope

Reaching back to the past.

I was young and oblivious at the time, coming of age in the Carter administration and having three of my four babies during Reagan's presidency. (Brian was born on George H.W. Bush's election day. Ricky cut in line to vote before taking me to the hospital.)

I do remember our first mortgage at 16.25%, the second, in 1985, at about 8%. I was confident enough to start my own business in 1989.

Once again people are speaking truth to power. You may disagree, but it's worth thinking about.

Winning the game

Last week was such a blur - coming and going and spinning in place.

It started with a computer hard drive failure Monday morning. And I had such high hopes for my efficiency that day, too, wanting to focus on jobs that had to be done as I roll into the second stage of busy season 2010. Instead, I spent five hours at the Apple store, backing up my computer and paying the hundred dollars for priority service so I could have the hard drive replaced the same day.

The rest of the week included, besides work, supervising eighteen year old boys breaking rock in the front yard, setting up an ipod with appropriate music for my dad's birthday gift, worrying about my son's marching band audition, dealing with dogs on drugs, last minute packing and a plane trip that included a three hour unscheduled stop in Richmond due to bad weather that made us miss both lunch and supper.

Finally, arriving in Charlottesville after dark, we had to find our daughter's particular University of Virginia dorm parking lot. That last task was complicated, as Ricky was driving while I queried Lindsay on her exact location. Since Lindsay did not know that Ricky and my parents were also in the car, I had to repeat her instructions out loud so that Ricky could hear......."Okay, I need to turn around and come back because I went too far. Okay, it's not this light, it's the next light. Then I need to turn right, okay, I think I've got it......"

I have to admit, though, that I managed a most successful surprise. For months I had known we were all coming to her graduation, while she thought it would only be me. I nearly slipped up earlier in the week, mentioning something about taking the dogs to my friend's house, quickly covering my gaffe by saying it was to give Ricky a chance to sleep late a couple of days. But all's well that ends well, and she was stunned and delighted.

The funny (not in a ha-ha, but in a sweet way) part was the anxiety the ruse created for her husband, who was aware of our plans. He stressed over the details and fretted about keeping it from her. If you've seen the TV series "Chuck," he was "Awesome" to her "Ellie." Next time, I'll save him the agony and surprise them both. (Those are they things you have to learn when an adult joins the family. Sorry, Eddie, I didn't mean to make your summer more difficult than it already was, separated from your wife for twelve weeks.)

But the week was great, punctuated on Saturday with Lindsay's excellent commencement speech and an uneventful flight home.

The name of the game? Survivor!

Getting the kids ready for camp

Bedding washed - check.

Food packed - check.

Medicine packed - check.

Toys gathered and packed - check.

Nails clipped - Winston, check.

Nais clipped - Krista, no way. The groomer and then the vet together were able to clip one nail. Krista did not want her nails clipped, thank you very much.

Crates cleaned and packed - check.

I've enjoyed the last few years of family trips when everyone could pack themselves. Getting the dogs ready for "Camp Tami" was a harsh reality check.

We left Thursday morning for a short trip to Charlottesville to watch our daughter graduate with her Master's degree. Before heading for the airport, we took the dogs to my friend's house where she will spoil them with attention. I only hope they will take us back on Sunday without too much resentment.

We left Krista with Tami last summer while we went to London. She was going to keep Krista again and Winston, too, this summer for ten days, but cancer surgery wiped out our Florida trip. (I'm still bitter.) So the pups have to settle for three days instead. It's a good thing. Packing up two dogs seems exponentially more consuming than packing up one dog, and if I'd had to pack stuff for ten days instead of three...... Now I know why so many people take their dogs with them when they travel!

A Diva Doesn't Share

Wiley is a trumpet player. Our shibas sing along - every time. You might say they have a racket going.

Krista is an outstanding yodeler. (I've posted about her "singing" before.)

Winston is figuring it out, but so far he just barks. And for a puppy he barks LOUD. I have to put him outside now when Wiley is practicing. But it doesn't matter where the dogs are or where Wiley is, they accompany him.

Today Wiley had been practicing outside, working on his combination of marching and playing. You could hear the dogs, in the kitchen, all the way to the street.

Wiley came inside to give them an encore.

But by this time Krista has just about lost it, she is so mad at Winston for ruining the harmonies.

Listen if you like, but you may want to put on ear muffs.