If the shoe fits.......

Women's shoes have truly mystical properties. And for you guys reading this post, don't snort and move on. I assert that high heels are the second most effective way to get a man's attention. Dispute me if you dare.

A woman can be fifty extra pounds pregnant and still feel petite wearing cute sandals. A bad hair day is washed clean with multi-color shoes that match an outfit perfectly. Funky boots can reduce a woman's attitude by decades. There's a whole line of greeting cards that are funny because they feature women wearing "old lady" sandals with socks. You know what I'm talking about.

My personal saga starts in the teenage years. I rarely had stylish shoes. That's one of the reasons I'm slightly warped. It wasn't that my parents wouldn't buy me fashionable shoes, they practically didn't exist in my size.

My current shoe size is 9AA or 9N, as in NARROW.

As a teenager and young woman, it was 9AAA or 9AAAA (VERY NARROW.) Forty years ago there were fewer shoe manufacturers, run by men. They didn't grasp the concept that a longer foot was not always a wider foot. My feet were skinny.

It was a real treat when we special ordered my pep club required saddle oxfords in a narrow size. They fit! (I can tell how old you are if you know what a pep club is and what saddle oxfords look like.) But in general, my shoes were neither fun nor attractive.

College was kinder. I lived for five years in a univers(ity) of tennis shoes and flip-flops. Adidas brand, which tends to run a little narrower, was starting to grow its U.S. market. Bass Shoes made awesome leather flip-flops in narrow sizes. I would totally wear a pair out and then replace it. My feet fit in with the feet of every other girl going to class or playing sports.

The work years hit and I had to find pumps and similar classy shoes. Unable to afford two hundred dollars a pair, I would haunt the annual shoe sales and stock up at 75 percent off and ration their use. At home I could keep living in my Adidas. At social events I wore shoes which hurt, since I had to buy shoes too short so they would stay on. But that's a girl's lot in life, beauty often involves pain.

Then I finally grew up, and the world grew up, so there are more affordable, fashionable shoes now available in my size. I don't have to "settle" for anything I don't like, that doesn't fit or I don't want to pay for.

Like Cinderella, I deserve the glass slipper every time.

That's why, over about a six week period this summer I bought SIXTEEN* pairs of shoes.

Cheap therapy, I say.

* (Nine of the sixteen pairs were purchased at an outlet store that only carried narrow sizes and cost less than $25 per pair. Don't ask me where it is, as it seems to be one of those places staying one step ahead of the law - opening up for only a few weeks in a city and then moving on. Talk about a kid in a candy store...)