Why do I weep?

As I sit working in my office all the day long, my Ipod shuffles through its tunes. Country, classical, Broadway, classic rock or gospel - they all sound good through the Bose speakers of my docking station.

This afternoon a very favorite song popped up. "Into the West" is the conclusion of the "Lord of the Rings" film trilogy. Our family saw the third movie together on Christmas Day, 2003.

After epic conflicts and heroic sacrifices, good triumphs over evil, and the characters go home to their "happily ever after." But Frodo, battle scarred and world weary, decides he must leave his home for a haven over the sea. At the last moment possible, he gently lets his friends know he is leaving them behind. "Into the West" is the chorus to this final scene.

I love this song because of the memories it evokes. I can't hear it without remembering my young, tender hearted son, who did not anticipate this twist to the story's end, sobbing in the movie theater at the friends' gut wrenching farewells.

I love this song because it is piercing and majestic and has a glorious french horn descant. I can't hear it without thinking of my daughter, a french horn player. In 2003 she was just two years past her final cancer treatment, far too soon for me to rely on remission. The song soars with the reminder that death's separation would be only temporary.

Here are the words to "Into the West."

Lay down

Your sweet and weary head

Night is falling

You have come to journey's end

Sleep now

And dream of the ones who came before

They are calling

From across a distant shore

Why do you weep?

What are these tears upon your face?

Soon you will see

All of your fears will pass away

Safe in my arms

You're only sleeping

What can you see

On the horizon?

Why do the white gulls call?

Across the sea

A pale moon rises

The ships have come to carry you home

And all will turn

To silver glass

A light on the water

All Souls pass

Hope fades

Into the world of night

Through shadows falling

Out of memory and time

Don't say

We have come now to the end

White shores are calling

You and I will meet again

And you'll be here in my arms

Just sleeping

Chorus

And all will turn

To silver glass

A light on the water

Grey ships pass

Into the West

This afternoon I listened to the song five or six times, each time louder than before, aching for the times I will be on shores opposite my loved ones.

Every now and then, for a brief moment, I wonder whether the ship will be taking me to my lover's arms or bringing him and my babies to mine. I tingle for the moment of greeting parents and grandparents, unshackled from my childhood perceptions.

I love this song because, when I hear it, I am encouraged. Whether it be in three years or thirty, when I am damaged or worn beyond endurance, there is nothing to fear, all Souls pass. The pale moon will rise, a LIght on the water, my ship will carry me safe.

That is the beauty of Faith. I weep for joy.