Back to Basics

After an eventful month, I am back.

In fact, it seems like deja vue all over again.

The boys, Ricky and I took the Florida vacation we had scheduled a year ago, before my blurred week of colon cancer diagnosis and surgery forced its cancellation.

The rest of the month has been filled with getting Ricky ready for thirty days in India. In fact, he should be pulling back from the tarmac right now, headed with a group of seventeen educators to catch a fourteen hour flight from Chicago to Delhi. He will leave Chicago about 4:00 pm today and land about 5:30 tomorrow afternoon Indian time. India is ten and a half hours ahead.

A year and a half after we married, I spent three weeks on a business trip to South and Central America - no cell phones, no internet, no employer budget for personal communication. Ricky and I had two prearranged thirty minute phone calls, all we could afford. The following summer he had internships in Texas while I continued to work in Chicago. Without a doubt, that was the longest twelve weeks of my life, even with spending all his summer salary on my plane trips to Texas every other weekend.

Now he's gone again, and I am home, but this time not alone. In the intervening thirty years I've accumulated two dogs, three cats and three kids to help hold down the fort. The fourth child and spouse live nearby.

While I was in South America Ricky grew a beard and moustache. It was so pitiful he shaved it all off before picking me up at O'Hare. I only have pictures. This time he shaved his head before leaving, something I'd seen and admired before. (You can see a picture here.)

Last time we were apart, communication was sketchy. This time, whenever internet is available, we will chat on Skype. We will email and update our blogs. He paid the $8 for ninety days that will allow him to use the internet to call any phone in the United States. The longest we will go without talking will probably be today. He has left his cell phone home, so I won't hear from him until he is settled in his Delhi hotel. The communication blackout may happen again as he moves around the country and stays in less modern hotels, but maybe not. We'll see.

Last time apart we were young adults still learning each other. Now we are marriage veterans able to have extensive conversations with few audible words. Then we filled the empty spaces with worry and perhaps a little jealousy. Now we just rely on each other with confidence. He is going to have a fabulous adventure without family worries and responsibilites. I will get the same adventure by proxy and will make myself do some things with girlfriends usually deferred for family reasons. Ricky gets a month without having to clean up cat messes, put dogs to bed, wake up kids or work on his "honey-do" list. (While he's gone I have farmed out the cat and dog assignments to the kids and will pretend to be childless as much as possible. After all, the youngest is sixteen.)

I have totally enjoyed watching Ricky prepare for this trip. For the past couple of months, anticipating our separation, he has been particularly sweet and attentive. What fun! And I've watched with amusement as he worried over trip details. Ricky wants to KNOW the plan when he's traveling. This is the first time in his adult life he has no control or choice regarding his schedule. He will have no control over home while away, either. He has worried that we won't be able to function without him. He has worried that we will be able to get by without him. Funny man, my now out of control husband.

Thinking about Ricky's worries reminds me of his dad, Jim Balthrop. Jim, a hungry teenage boy during the 1930's depression, ran his adult life around mealtimes. We, his children, mocked him for arranging his meals by clockwork and for setting his travel itineraries by the highway locations of Stucky's and Denny's Restaurants. Ricky has spent the month of June preparing to be hungry in India. Here's the email he sent me a week ago when we got back from Florida:

     With a week to go before I go a half a world away, here are some things that sound good for stocking up my stomach.

          Mexican Inn
          Lasagna
         Chicken chunks
         Kinkaids
         Outback (or other steak place)
         Italian restaurant (either Italy or Cafe Sicilia)
        Barbeque (at least once thats not Spring Creek)
    Those are probably the biggies. Chocolate cake maybe sometime?

Unfortunately for him, I only had a week to "make my weight" at Weight Watcher's, so we didn't get to the lasagne. I remembered Tuesday night to make his favorite chocolate cake and it turned out all right. (Since I weighed in after dropping Ricky off at the airport this morning, I can now have a piece, too!)

His other preparations included shopping, a favored activity barely second to eating. He bought the Ipad he's been pining for and a nice mid-sized camera with lots of zoom we both wanted. He has a new Eddie Bauer backpack and monsoon worthy shoes and lots of beef jerky. So now he and all his preparations are in the air.

What will I do while he's gone that I don't do when he's here? Grocery shop, make my own coffee, decide what and when to eat. (I had Ricky buy ground coffee yesterday so I can keep my coffee bean grinder-free track record intact.) I will have to pay the few bills he could not pay in advance and may actually learn how to use the various TV remote controls. Brian is covering the pool maintenance, I made Wiley learn how to operate our robot floor cleaner, neither of which I have ever done or will do. I'll have to make sure the trash is set out, the cars are gassed and the house is secure when things go bump in the middle of the night. I will have to turn on the bedroom celing fan myself, then turn it off, back on, off, on, ....... (Remember, I'm fifty-something.) And I'll find out how to do all the other things he does without thinking or me noticing.

When the boys and I head to Colorado for a few days in July, I must study the route, book the hotels and make sure we have more than the usual $5 or so of cash I usually carry.

And he's worried we won't notice he's gone? I already said he's a funny man.

If you want to follow his India adventure, he has a blog at http://rickysplace.wordpress.com/

Honor, We Will Remember

What goes around comes around

I enjoyed the Royal Wedding last month, old enough to be the mother of the bride. Her dress was perfect. I'm sure she felt like a Princess - Princess Catherine.

My dress had the same Queen Anne neckline, fitted lace sleeves and satin skirt with lace accents. My lace may have been plainer, the chapel length train shorter, but the result was the same. I felt like a princess, too.

It wasn't hard to dig up this old picture. For some reason I've always kept the little portfolio of bridal pictures in my sock drawer. Doesn't everyone?

The Royal Princess Kate did have much longer hair. My wedding hair would have been long, too, but for the arrogant opinion of a hair stylist a couple of years prior. I went in for a trim, he started cutting in the back. I heard him say "I haven't done this haircut in a while, I think it will look really good on you."

You know how that story ends. Shocked at seeing ALL my hair on the floor, I couldn't stop the tears. At least he felt guilty enough to scoot me out of the store without making me pay.

On the Royal Wedding Day, April 29, 2011, I got my hair cut. Still learning the style of my new stylist, I took a picture of the "do" I was hoping for. She had similar ideas and pictures and got to work. As she finished up I saw that horrible college era haircut reflecting back from the mirror. When she asked how I liked it, I honestly told her I hated it. Together we looked at the pictures. The top halves looked similar, but my hair was only half the picture. I have no hair below my ears.

It's been over three decades since I came home from a haircut and immediately jumped in the shower to get rid of the "hair products" and try to see if I could salvage my self portrait. Other than that and some groaning and pouting, though, I think I have handled this setback with dignity. I paid and tipped generously for the haircut.  I did not cry, maybe teared up some, but definitely did not cry. When people compliment my new style I thank them without grimacing.

It's been almost three weeks and I'm starting to recognize the face in the mirror. The hair is almost long enough to wring the water out after shampooing. It's a good haircut, it's just not me. There is zero chance of me posting a current picture.

In a couple of weeks Ricky and I will attend a "black tie" wedding. I had been looking forward to dressing up before this latest scalping. But hair grows and now that I know I must curb her exuberance, I am optimistic that with two more weeks my new stylist can work a little magic to give me a look that matches my little black dress.

After all, it's a wedding. Every bride is a princess at a wedding.

A ways past fifty something

I had a conversation with my dad today, in between all the fast and furious e-filing I am doing. Actually, I called him to make sure he had looked over his and mom's return so that I could go ahead and push the button to file it.

I told him that Wiley and I are probably going to a soccer tournament in Colorado in the middle of July. Had he and Mom decided yet whether they are spending their motor home summer in Alaska or Colorado? I have been hoping for Colorado, as I'm longing for a cheap way to spend a few days doing as little as possible. If they are in Colorado, maybe they'll catch a soccer game or two and then Wiley and I can hang out for a few extra days.

Anyway......

Me: Looks like Wiley and I are going to be in Colorado the middle of July, at Colorado Springs doing a Pike's Pike soccer tournament. Are you going to be in Colorado then? Tell Mom so you guys factor that in when deciding where to go.

Dad: We're leaning toward Colorado, I think. So, end of July?

Me: No, the middle of July

Dad: I bet we could be in Boulder.

Me: No, we're going to Colorado Springs, so southern Colorado.

Dad: Okay, Colorado Springs, first of July.

Me: MIDDLE of July, Dad. I'm calling Mom.

And I did.

Wardrobe (mal)function

Two days ago I worked in my pajamas 'till after 3:00. Yesterday I spent the day wearing Adidas comfy clothes.

Today I dressed to go to a client's office first thing, expecting to get a call that I needed to be there and not expecting to have time to do a wardrobe change.

A few minutes ago I got the call that I don't need to go until tomorrow.

That's a good thing as I've just noticed that both my nice shirt AND my pants are coated with chocolate drippings from the ice cream cone I ate for lunch.

Working at home....gotta' love it.

Welcome to my world

This is the time of year I sit all day and eat junk food, rewarding myself with ice cream and chips. I've already had my first round of ice cream today.

But I know I will "make my weight" at the end of the month, so it's all good, this year at least.

Someday, this will really be an issue for me.

But not now. There's a guy working in our backyard so I had to take the dogs out to the front yard for a short break. Winston immediately found a long, fat, juicy worm. He ate part of it, played with the rest, carried it around dangling from his mouth as a trophy. When Krista tried to make it tug-of-war, I surrendered and brought them back in the house (after Winston dropped the worm.)

My appetite is under control for the rest of the day.

Yuck.

Back to work.

Typically Texan

I'm headed out to a client's office this afternoon of March 30. I am wearing my leather coat.

It is a damp 48 degrees outside.

Wiley has three soccer games on Saturday. The high temperature is expected to reach 90.

Too bad there're no trade backs.

Nature or nurture?

January 4, 2011 - Looking at the Atlantic

I love being near an ocean. At the end of our January trip to Tallahassee, we went quite out of our way, on a cold, rainy day, so that I could see the ocean.

Even for thirty minutes, it was worth it.

In a perfect world, a world in which family and work were still close, I would live a block or two from a beach.

I was born and raised land locked, smack dab in the middle of Oklahoma, except for a couple of years that our family lived among Yankees. That's when, age eleven, I walked the boardwalk of Atlantic City and later in the year  had a Saturday outing to a Maryland beach.

Fast forward and my next view of the ocean was my freshman year of college. There were many trips to Galveston and a trip to Hawaii during the college years.

Fast forward to married life and we've been to Jamaica, Hawaii, Grand Cayman, the California coast,  Cancun and back to Galveston every now and then. On our many trips to Disneyworld we usually detoured off the interstate to drive along the coast of Mississippi.

My decorating style, if I wasn't too cheap to buy furniture not on sale, would be British Country. I finally figured out why it appeals to me. It's the same style used in the elegant island homes of the Caribbean.

Keeping the fast forward, I still live land locked, still think some day of the retirement home near the beach and only half-jokingly consider exploratory trips to Costa Rica. Realistically, I hope to spring for a month-long rental every now and then, maybe when I'm sixty-something. In my home, I settle for tropical themed decor.

I don't know the source of this oceanic compulsion. Maybe we always want what we can't have.

Longer than I've loved the ocean I've enjoyed watching and playing basketball. I read biographies of Wilt Chamberlain and Bill Russell and wore No. 6 in junior high. I grew up watching college basketball and the Celtics, one of my mom's passions.

This season, busier than ever, I've watched a few pieces of tournament games. My first loyalty is to the old "Big 8" with the "Southwest Conference" schools close behind. Anybody but Duke, North Carolina, UConn.....give me an underdog, instead.

So Texas goes out of the tournament unable to throw the ball inbounds. Counting on Kansas to keep me interested another week, they just lost to the much lower ranked Virginia Commonwealth. If I was Coach Self, I would have my players shooting 1,000 free throws a day this summer. Once again, their offense stumbled and their free throw percentage stank.

There's one more game to go - Kentucky vs UNC. I like Kentucky. If they win, I'll end up watching some more ball next weekend. If they lose, well then I won't have to live with the guilt of sneaking tube time when I should be working.

Another March, a lot of madness here. Wish me luck.

Elvis has left the building

Every year I treat myself to some new business toy - a new printer or computer or fancy shelving or pricey wall decor. Three years ago I replaced my five year old Dell computer with another Dell. The machine bought in 2003 was having compatibility problems with some of the newer hardware components and software programs and face it, five years is a long time to ride one computer.

Unfortunately, I picked the window of time (early 2008) during which computers only came with the Vista operating system. Blissfully ignorant of the trouble ahead, Ricky assembled my new computer and began moving software and data from old to new. After about fifteen hours of trial and effort, nearly everything worked. We had come "this close" to giving up and paying the restocking fee. But like many things in life, the more time spent getting the computer to work, the harder it was to cut our losses.

There were some programs and a printer that absolutely would not work with Vista. But my tax season was already fast and furious, so I made do. There were constant issues and a steady stream of Vista updates that fixed some problems while creating more.

We were miserable - the "we" being me constantly tearing my hair out over computer induced work stoppages and Ricky having to listen to my wails and be my IT guy while I hovered. I'm not a patient hoverer.

As the year progressed, Microsoft, admitting to its Vista disaster, began re-offering the XP operating system for new computers as they worked on a replacement for Vista. Fat lot of good it did me.

In surrender, I bought another new computer in early 2009 - an Apple laptop I used along with a desktop monitor. It has been much more stable on our home network and with the Intel chip, I could run my Windows based business software successfully.........for a while.

Approaching a critical deadline, the Apple hard drive crashed last summer and had to be replaced. Fortunately, I had my data backed up, but the Windows stuff never worked quite as well from then on. Meanwhile, Windows 7 released with good reviews. I put Windows 7 on the stupid Vista computer and got it back in business.

For the past six months, I've run all my tax software on the Windows 7 computer and my email and Office programs (Word, Excel) on the Apple. The two are networked, so that's all good.

It's kinda' like having two monitors with one computer. However...........my eyes are tired of the small laptop screen. I'm constantly shuffling keyboards and mice and could use more space on my desk. And good grief, keeping up with the cords is a job itself.

My little corner of the world

I have decided to put everything I use at work back on the Dell computer, including email and Office so that I will have one computer and one keyboard and will use two desktop size monitors.

Anticipating the laborious process of converting email, loading programs and getting everything working efficiently, I started thinking about this now three year old Dell computer. That's like fifty something human years.

Bottom line - I ordered a new computer, with the features I need and speed I can count on. And in this world of strange marketing, it was actually cheaper to customize a package deal they were offering with a monitor than to buy the same system without a monitor. So I will have two (nearly) new large monitors instead of one large and one medium. (Pizza, anyone?)

Ordered a few days ago, today it shipped!

The strange things that delight me - I can't wait for Elvis to arrive.

The Department of Redundancy Department

I'm trying to work this morning, but concrete saws have been going for hours just outside my office window. I feel like I'm two hours in to a dentist appointment of non-stop drilling. My ears are ringing.

Our house is on a corner. Workers are shaving off the curbs recently installed along the intersecting sidewalks.

A month ago we had neighborhood sidewalks which sloped to the street at every intersection, allowing easy movement for pedestrians, strollers, bikes, skates and the rarely seen wheelchair. Several years earlier, most offending sidewalks, those that required a step-off, had been replaced. So we have had politically correct, ADA approved sidewalks for some time.

A couple of months ago city crews began going through the neighborhood, tearing out corner sidewalks and replacing the concrete, rebar and slope with new concrete, rebar and slope. They added a doormat sized textured section near the street and added about two feet of curbing in each direction. Today they're lowering the curbing.

Essentially our city is spending months of man hours digging holes and filling holes.

Stimulus dollars at work.

My head is about to explode.

Day 4

At least the dogs enjoy the weather. After three days of ice, with temperatures staying in the teens, a layer of snow arrives to top it all off.



It's another day of school closings. Never in my fifty something years have I had four straight days of school closings. But it's the right call - the school parking lots and drives are still covered in thick sheets of solid ice.

My boys have gone a little stir crazy. Brian actually went to work yesterday, but the office was virtually empty. In desperation, today he entertained himself with the remote control to his new ceiling fan, running around the house to see how far away he can be and still turn his light off and on. His room is designed such that the regular light switch is outside his door. Now he can get in bed or sit at his desk and control the light. Sometimes it's the simple things that mean the most.

Wiley has gone for walks and enjoyed taking his car on short errands. We even let him drive a couple of blocks.

But mostly we're trying to appreciate the change of pace and ignore the endless Super Bowl hype.

A week for the record books, that's for sure.

Rolling, rolling, rolling

It's the second day of the ice storm of 2011, the storm that left 2-3 inches of solid ice on all driving surfaces and temperatures in the single digits. It's still not as bad as the Oklahoma blizzard of 2009, the difference being this time I am comfortably at home (except for needing Bob Cratchit gloves.)

And now I have to admit to the downside of working at home. Everybody else had a "snow day" yesterday. For Ricky, Kelly, Brian and Wiley there was no school, no jobs, just pajamas (although Kelly had to dress twice as her delayed start became a more delayed start and finally no start at all). Meanwhile, I completed several tax returns and two loads of laundry and even made it to the local close-out store for its 8:00 am opening (Hunter ceiling fans at half price!) Ricky and I made it to the hockey game last night in downtown Dallas. The highways were fairly clear, unlike all the side streets and parking lots. The friends we went with drove us in their big, comfy, 4-wheel drive SUV. We had our choice of seating in the arena.

Today more businesses are open, but no schools. The temperature is hovering around 10 degrees, with scheduled power outages to keep up with demand. The electric company doesn't like the term "rolling blackout." We've had two outages so far this morning, a little tough on computers and internet, so I'm now getting a bit of a snow day.

I always wonder, in a weather event like this, if the world can get by with delayed starts and temporary closings every now and then, why don't we schedule them more often?

At my daughter's new job, she usually finishes the day's assignment in about three quarters of the allotted time. Most jobs and activities are replete with scheduled breaks and time off and cushions for delays and allowances for the lowest common denominator.

Instead, I suggest we all protest and demand a 30 or 35 hour work week.

Work hard, play hard! My favorite motto.