Wednesday, January 13, 2010

It's all in the timing

Our family had quite a year in 2009. I intended to write about it in more detail but was overwhelmed last week with the peaceful death of my mother-in-law, and all the corresponding details of her funeral service and having our home be "family central" for several days.

Those 2009 recollections, along with the lessons learned last week, must keep a little longer. Even though I could put some thoughts together and share them now, it's probably better to wait a while.

One thing I've learned, from significant trial and error, is the value of picking the right time to share my opinions. Too many times I have been anxious to tell my side of a story, not considering the feelings and concerns of others. Too many times I have dumped my news or hurts on a friend or family member without proper consideration for how it would affect him or her. And if I'm honest, I must admit there have been times I did consider the impact and chose to verbally hit my dear ones, anyway.

I wish we all, whether in private or public discourse, would take more time to settle our own opinion before sharing it. Is my position correct? Is it justified? Is it selfish? Am I just reacting without thinking? Also important, is what I want to say even relevant?

My need for better discernment became clear a few years ago, once it was just me and the boys hanging out here at home. If I want to make a point, it needs to be brief, well thought out and brought up when the recipient is in a reasonably good frame of mind. I could go on and on with lots of examples, but I'll spare us all that tedium.

The bottom line? A little patience and judgment can save a lot of angst. I'm convinced. Now it's just practice, practice, practice.


Wiley said...

Response to paragraph four: If you give a moose a muffin... In response to relevance.

That's an inside joke for the family. I <3 U.

Sherry said...

Amen :). And it's so hard.